The question is a simple one. It’s a question you can put to yourself at any moment, regardless of what you’re doing. The question is transformative because it immediately connects you to your core values. In the moment before doing something, whatever it may be, this question opens up a space between you and the doing; a moment of mindfulness.
You can do it right now, as you are engaged in the action of reading these words. Ask yourself:
“What is this action in service of?”
Why are you sitting in front of this screen reading this right now? What larger goal of yours is being met by doing so?
I work with a number of people who struggle with anxiety and this question can be especially helpful for people who are trying to take action in the face of fear. I’ll give you an example of what I mean.
Imagine that you are giving a public presentation. You are about to take the podium and can feel your heart throbbing in your chest. You look out at the crowd, notes crumpled in your sweaty fist, and you want to run.
“What is this action in service of?”
Giving this talk may be in service of teaching others, or of sharing ideas that are deeply important to you. It may be in service of meeting work requirements and continuing to provide for yourself and your family. Maybe you are taking on this challenge because you want to overcome a fear of public speaking and expand your comfort zone.
As you reflect on the value you are expressing through this action, you might ask a couple follow-up questions: “Is this the sort of value I want to build a life around?” “Do I endorse living this way?”
In other words, do you want your life to be about “expanding the knowledge base of others,” or “expressing your own thoughts,” or “providing for your family” or “fostering your own self-development?”
Now imagine that instead of stepping up to the microphone you turn around and begin heading for the exit. You can ask yourself the same question:
“What is this action be in service of?”
Maybe the answers are things like: reducing stress, avoiding discomfort, and “playing it safe.” Regardless of what shows up, the same follow-up questions can be helpful: Do I want to build a life around this overarching goal? Do I endorse living in this way?
We avoid things that scare us for a reason. We’re usually not thinking about why we’re doing it, but a purpose of some sort is always being served by our actions. The question is, what is the overarching goal, and do I want to build a life around it?
Takeaway: To keep yourself moving in the direction of a more fulfilling life ask yourself: “What value is this current action in service of?” And then: “Can I embrace this value as a life credo?” If not, you might ask yourself: “What do I want my life to be about instead?”
