Values Clarification Pitfalls
If you are working with a counselor who uses mindfulness & acceptance-based approaches like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), or doing your own self-help work along these lines, you will probably come across values clarification exercises at some point in...
What Children Need
You may have guessed that I’m not referring to material items in the title – this post is not about providing food, shelter, or clothing for our kids. I’m not talking about love, either, although undoubtedly children need that as well. Most parents love their children...
How to Build Resilience
What do you do when negative emotions show up? If you’re like many of us, your first impulse is to get rid of the bad feeling ASAP. Maybe you turn on the TV to distract yourself, or eat something for comfort. Some people try to change their mood directly by...
The Question That Can Change Your Life
The question is a simple one. It’s a question you can put to yourself at any moment, regardless of what you're doing. The question is transformative because it immediately connects you to your core values. In the moment before doing something, whatever it may be,...
Mirror Neurons and Mindful Parenting
When I was a teacher my face was my most powerful tool – despite the sticker charts displayed on the bulletin board (see my post about why I should have chucked those), despite the “prize box” pulled out weekly for students who had earned classroom “bucks” - despite...
Why We Should Practice Relational Parenting
In my recent blog post “Why Every Parent Should Ditch the Sticker Chart” I talked about how switching from a behavioral focus to a relational focus as parents helps foster healthy brain development in our kids. There are two other important reasons for making this...
Becoming Mindful of your Motivational Style
When you reflect on why you've done the things you've done over the past week, what patterns do you notice? What percentage of your activity was motivated by “shoulds” or “musts,” and what percentage by values, interests, and desires? This may be worth considering, as...
Why Every Parent Should Ditch the Sticker Chart
This past August I read a blog post entitled Six Things Parents Need for Back to School (That We Can’t Buy) by KJ Dell’Antonio. While homework routines, job charts, and other behavior-based tools made up the majority of her wish list, it was clear that Dell'Antonio...
How to Have a Family Meeting That Will Change the World
Solve hassles around chores and homework, teach your children problem-solving and respect, and improve family relationships all while saving the world? This is not hyperbole. At least not according to Jane Nelsen, psychologist, educator, author of Positive...